Posted in eyes, poetry

Eye Exam

Eye Exam  I can’t write this poem, this convoluted examination  of what’s beyond the skies of my eyes and how once a year my ophthalmologist dilates the irises  and looks inside at the expanse of everything hidden in their mystery.  I can imagine what she sees, the complexity, the rivers and valleys of me converged in a universe of inescapable honesty, can’t hide a thing with that bright light probing my secrets, tracing the timeline of tears bled in the year since my last exam.   —Leanne Rebecca

A lot can happen in a year and no matter how much we try to hide, the crux of it all lives in our eyes, the maps of our story glistening despite the cover of night, a single cast of starlight uncovering the truth.

Much Love,

Leanne

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Posted in desire, love, poetry

If We’d Never Met

If We’d Never Met  I thought about you this week, flashback tripped by a song you told me to listen to months ago.  I wonder if I purged these memories, cleansed of you and your ghost, would I lose the strength built in their wake.  Could I trade this newfound backbone for a life without the ache buried  in the rings of my frame, forgetting the moment my heart sped, falling faster than the warning of the break?  Would I give up discovering the complexity of love, a depth unlocked as my desire awakened hearing my voice for the first time, vulnerable, flawed, scared, alive in exchange for freedom?  —Leanne Rebecca

I looked at the clock around 9:45 tonight and thought, man, I’m going to get to bed early, finally get a decent amount of sleep to kickstart my Monday without watering eyes and sluggish limbs. But then the itch began, the compulsion tingling behind my forehead, radiating to my fingertips, the cusp of a poem aching to spill out. So here we are, an hour later, an hour of sleep lost to creative whims.

Good night, my friends.

–Leanne Rebecca

Posted in art, poetry, writing

Storm

Storm  I remember the fear I used to feel when the sky would turn green, huddling under a blanket as hail rained, my parents watching the local news as nighttime ravaged the afternoon sun.  It’s the same fear I feel now, exposed to a vastness outside my window, that even though my parents love me, the Midwestern storm still has the upper hand.   I concede vulnerability to the elements— the ferocity of darkness, the wind raping my cheeks, eyes spilling gallons of anxiety, waking in ruble with splinters in my feet, crippled in unending fear.   I’m not hiding under a blanket anymore. I’m standing in the rain accepting the challenge, knowing the torrent will pass, and the sky will illuminate again tomorrow. I am still afraid, but I face east with alacrity.

I’m often asked where I find my inspiration. Most of the time it’s random, like the color of my hot tea or hearing a song playing at the grocery store, but sometimes I seek out inspiration too. On Thursday I asked a handful of my friends what their favorite word was that day. I didn’t explain why I was asking, which netted me some pretty interesting responses, like burrito or sandwich. One of my friends even made up a word.

There were a few answers however that stuck out: storm, alacrity, and illuminate. The strength behind these words is consuming and even more intriguing are the reasons that my friends chose these. I initially intended to write a separate poem for each word, but then I realized how interconnected they could be, which again, is a pretty powerful discovery.

This poem is dedicated to my friends Kelsey, Charlie, and Cameron.

What is your favorite word today?

–Leanne Rebecca

Posted in art, poetry, rhyme, writing

The Not Quite

The Not Quite  I only thought about it for one hour a day, in the hours of bedtime tea, my reflection staring back at me while brushing my teeth before the siphoning of light  as night’s shadows settled in my eyes.  Only in that time did I feel like the not quite, drifting to sleep in the lullabies that haunted the air in my lungs, analyzing too intensely the songs sung in the daylight.   Only in that hour did I give permission to disclose this expression, my secret anxieties to flood my sheets as pinot noir pinked my cheeks, a rush of heat in a kiss of honesty.   Only then did I question everything, the not quite searching for a reason, deciphering the origins of these lesions, falling into dreams gripped by a heart stripped to its vulnerability.

Uncharacteristic rhyme tonight. There’s something about this poem that I really love. I almost didn’t write one, just thought maybe I’d let the TV drown out thinking until falling asleep, but I couldn’t just ignore my inner poet fighting to come out. She didn’t want to be ignored and I’m so glad I listened.

Good night!

–Leanne Rebecca

Posted in art, poetry, writing

Hidden

Hidden

Today’s one of those anniversaries I’d rather not celebrate. It’s a day that commemorates the moment my life changed 13 years ago, a day I lost a little bit of my childhood innocence, forced to grow up in the car ride to the hospital. I try not to pout or draw attention to my situation on the regular because self-pity is as unattractive a vice as any, but if there’s one day I’ll let the tears fall, it’s today, D-Day, March 26th, the day I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes.

If you see a T1D today, give them a hug for me. Let them know you care. This disease is more grueling than you can imagine, more relentless than meets the eye, and more life-threatening than we dare to admit. Though we may not let our vulnerability show, I promise, your love and support means the world.

Posted in art, Music, poetry, writing

In Return

In ReturnWhen I started She’s in Prison almost a year ago, I promised myself that I’d be transparent in my writing. I vowed to share the tough stuff, even if it hurt or I felt exposed or uncomfortable. This is one of those poems, which may be a surprise because I recognize that the message is simple. I struggled in writing it, I admit. I don’t see the point in putting up a front that I’m uber confident in each and every one of my pieces. Truth is, I’m not, which I like even better. The words you see above are inspired by emotions I’m working through in this moment and I don’t feel I’ve been able to capture them fully. But as I was listening to “I Got You” by Leona Lewis, I knew I had to try.

Come back next Sunday for more poetry inspired by songs on my playlist. Also, don’t forget to hit the follow button on the left and hit me up on Twitter too!

Posted in art, Josh Dun Poetry Corner, Music, poetry, twenty one pilots, writing

Indebted

IndebtedLast April I started the Josh Dun Poetry Corner purely for the fun of showcasing my admiration for the band Twenty One Pilots on my own creative platform. The Corner started after I sent Josh a poem via Twitter. I never expected he’d not only read the poem, but respond. Elated, I wrote another poem as a thank you to my favorite drummer for acknowledging my words, and again, I sent it to him. I felt shocked when he responded to that one too.

A few days after Josh and I exchanged tweets, I ran into Twenty One Pilots in my hometown, a random happenstance that prompted me to reveal my identity as the poet to one of my biggest idols. We chatted briefly, a conversation now burned in my memory, and parted ways, back to our separate worlds.

The next week, I took a chance and sent another poem, and miraculously, Josh responded again! And thus, the Josh Dun Poetry Corner was born.

I’ve loved feeling connected with my favorite band and interacting with some of their other fans. The Corner has allowed me to lament my fandom each and every week, all the while growing as a person and perpetuating my admiration for their music. So it’s with a heavy heart that I announce that this edition of the Josh Dun Poetry Corner is the last. I will continue to rock out to TOP and will obviously continue to write poetry inspired by music. Thank you to everyone that’s supported me along this road and thank you to Josh and Tyler for being awesome.

As of now I’m pondering ideas for my new Sunday series on She’s in Prison, so stay tuned for the BIG REVEAL next week!

–Leanne Rebecca

Posted in art, Josh Dun Poetry Corner, Music, poetry, twenty one pilots, writing

Transformation

TransformationToday’s Josh Dun Poetry Corner is a year in review. In looking back at the self that discovered my now favorite band Twenty One Pilots, I feel surprised at the transformation of identity that I’ve undergone as a result of their music. I’m not the same girl anymore, and I’m proud of how far I’ve grown with the help of all those around me, including those talented TOP boys, Tyler Joseph and Josh Dun.

Take a peak at the archives of the Josh Dun Poetry Corner and check back next Sunday for a new edition!