Posted in inspiration, love, poetry

Numbers

Numbers

The original first line of this poem was “Started from not knowing what to write about.” I haven’t been writing much lately, which creates a void in my creative heart. I crave expression, whatever method it may come in: writing, singing, interpretive dancing under the influence of many glasses of wine, etc. This week’s been expressionless and I hate that repression of my inner child that needs to be heard, needs to shout out how I’m feeling and run around in circles without care of judgment or behavioral norms.

I put myself in a box this week. Don’t be reckless, Leanne. Don’t go out on the weekdays. Don’t drink so much wine. Stop sending your friends so many pointless texts. Do more yoga and eat salad. Don’t spend unwarranted money.

It’s like in trying to be the “better,” more responsible “adult” I lost a piece of myself along the way. One of my friends commented a few days ago that it seemed like I had lost my playfulness, my sarcastic positivity and joy for what I love. I told her I didn’t know what was wrong with me. There wasn’t anything specific to complain about. Nothing was wrong, and yet everything.

This weekend I’m crawling back out of that pointless box, starting with this much needed poem and this journal entry that has taken over this blog post.

Cheers!

–Leanne Rebecca

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Posted in art, poetry, writing

Too Much

Too Much  They call it Pain Tolerance, measured in a threshold determined by the wearer, a number of fingers you can withstand before two hands shortfall the scale,  a 10 spectrum limit that fails to consider all the categories of this feeling’s complexity.  Am I at a 9 because I’m still breathing?  There’s a numbness beyond comprehension that confuses the brink of my endurance, as if the ache resides in negative space. an inverted sensation, the vast white surrounding the ink blotches  that could explain this intoxication. I changed the last word of this poem at least 6 times, and with each revision, I found new meaning inside my own lines. I implore you to take away your own interpretation. Sure, I wrote the poem, but the meaning is not absolute. What it means to you is just as significant as the reason I wrote it. I write poetry for me, but you read it for you. We’re equals in this process.

Happy Monday!!

–Leanne Rebecca