Tag: writing

Posted in art, poetry, writing

Mood

Posted on by SHE'S IN PRISON

Mood I told her how I’d wanted to write, could feel the excess of emotion on the cusp of brimming over the side of my too full ink jar. I knew that if I tried to cap it that black would leak out and stain my table with unfiltered tears, a mess of thoughts spilled without coherency. I knew that bottling doesn’t work, that if I don’t direct my fears and bruises into lines then my ink jar will shatter, exploding debris all over my face. But I don’t feel like writing, I told her, I don’t want to face those energies. She grabbed my shoulders and pulled me in, That’s your poem, she caressed, that the exasperation of a day stole the words right out of you.

Posted in art, Guest post, poetry, writing

Guest Post: Laura Ortbals

Posted on by SHE'S IN PRISON

I have a fear of becomming stagnant my body atrophies and my life fades away I need to keep moving but I am terrified of where that might take me.

This one is by one of the most amazing women I know: my sister. She posted this poem as a facebook status, but I couldn’t simply let it die as soon as our news feeds updated. She captured an emotion I’m sure we all share in some capacity and that kind of resonance deserves recognition.

Happy Saturday!

–Leanne Rebecca

Posted in art, poetry, writing

Under the Radar

Posted on by SHE'S IN PRISON

Under the Radar I felt the warning signs welling up like the early symptoms of a head cold— easily ignored. I swallowed the thoughts with each sip of vodka soda which dwindled as the toasts wrapped. To the Bride and Groom. They cut the cake and had a dance and everyone smiled and some cried as I kept quiet, afraid to speak and erupt with cynicism on this happy occasion, finding respite in the bathroom stall until sickness poured from my eyes, my sickness—my eternal loneliness soiling the love infested air of a wedding celebration. I ducked outside so no one would see the despair blur my eyeliner like a watercolor painting. I watched the guests raise glasses through the window, kicking off their shoes, shamelessly indulging in the contagion of glee, the pairs of them, hand in hand with their own brides and grooms of yesterdays and tomorrows while I wept in the darkness of a night’s sky. They hadn’t seen me leave, who would? I wasn’t tied to that innate buddy system of plus ones, relegated unintentionally invisible, forgotten amidst kisses and slow dances, biding my time until the glowing couple skipped into their getaway car and I shuffled back to mine, tired. Thanks for sticking with me. Life’s a journey and sometimes it gets busy, which is why I feel utterly lucky to have this magical thing called writing that lets me dance my way through it without rules. Have a fantastic Monday!

–Leanne Rebecca

 

Posted in art, poetry, writing

Adaptable

Posted on by SHE'S IN PRISON

Adaptable We ran in the rain even though our shoes squished and hindered, pounds of excess burden laced around soggy feet as if trudging miniature water tanks below the ankles, trapping our freedom to move with agility, with ease. We could have called it quits, huddled under a tree until the torrent dissolved into a drizzle, could have cowered in our car, prissy as teacup dogs afraid to get their paws wet. But we ran, laughing as makeup stung our eyes, rendered blind, black dripping into our vision and pooling below in raccoon masks. Sure our pace slowed as our intention adapted— just keep moving— but it didn’t matter, just like it doesn’t matter that I had to eat a different kind of cereal this morning, choice robbed by an empty box. We crossed the finish line together. I don’t feel like this poem belongs to me. It belongs to my mom and my friends. It belongs to you and your struggles. We’re all in this thing called life, living parallel to one another, at times crisscrossing paths as we do our best to navigate the turns. I implore you, don’t lose sight of where you’re headed. Sometimes eating something new for breakfast can be a welcome change. The key is to recognize the opportunity to seize the deliciousness of the moment.

–Leanne Rebecca

 

Posted in art, Music, poetry, writing

Dissonance

Posted on by SHE'S IN PRISON

Dissonance It’s sexy- the tension in his voice that infuses each note with dichotomy— masterful but not easeful, as if he’s lamenting inner conflict in gravel-laden imperfection. I’m drawn to the impurity lacing his words like a birth mark—unique to him, a signature interrupting the underlying smoothness of his skin. It turns me on, the dissonance of his poetry, the fluidity of his screaming, the crying of his passion. I listen again, falling into imagination’s cloud— who is the boy that owns that voice, that aches his story on the radio?

I’ve been on a Ghost Town kick lately. I first discovered the band about a year ago, listened a little, but for whatever reason wasn’t hooked. However a few weeks ago one of my friends made me a playlist with their song “Acid” on it. It’s a track I admittedly repeat over and over again as I’m driving. You could call me obsessed. The vocals draw me in almost like junk food. I just want more!! It got me thinking, what is it about certain songs or certain voices that attract different ears? For me, it’s the grit, the pain behind the sound. I’d always rather listen to something messy that throws emotion in your face than something perfected with stereotypical beauty. We all have our own preferences though, and mine certainly change with the seasons.

Happy Saturday!

–Leanne Rebecca

Posted in art, poetry, writing

Are You Ready?

Posted on by SHE'S IN PRISON

Are You Ready? She asked the question in the earnestness of choice, offering me an out despite the unspoken plea traced in the words hiding behind the weight of decision, my decision to box up my heart --my needs, my fears, my selfishness— and store it on a shelf, collecting dust and waiting. She explained: you can’t expect anything back, must act without being asked, that’s what it takes, effort, your effort. I nodded, a yes flying from my lips in auto response like an out-of-office email, true and direct, but impersonal, shallow. She glared into my irises like a lie detector assessing genuine intention. But she didn’t say anything. Did she not see the waver in my thought which screamed in every blink breaking our locked eye contact? She didn’t say anything, reiterating her faith in me, her compassion to see beyond my flaws, the reason why my mother is the most selfless person I know. I reach down my throat and pluck out my feelings. This isn’t about me, I think, but if there’s one reward to this choice it’s becoming more like my mother, my selfish caveat tainting her altruistic purity.

This one’s a bit different. But I wouldn’t be a poet if I didn’t play, right? Thanks for stopping by and as always, have a happy Wednesday!

–Leanne Rebecca

Posted in art, poetry, writing

You and Me, Baby

Posted on by SHE'S IN PRISON

You and Me, Baby I remember the 5 am day and I hold it with a clenched fist, grasping at 3 am tunes in your car, curling my fingers around the east of being in that moment, you and me, Baby, moonlight driving through the Boston streets. I feel the memory in my palm and squeeze tightly, holding hands with your imprint in my timeline, a forever history I won’t rewrite. I remember the 5 am day, the exhilaration of waking life and the turquoise shirt tossed to the backseat. You held me, just as I hold that glimpse of you now, in the lines of my hands, 5 am come and gone and how your face changed when the sun eventually rose.

A new week, a new day, a new opportunity to read poetry. 

Don’t forget to smile today!

–Leanne Rebecca

Posted in art, poetry, writing

Static

Posted on by SHE'S IN PRISON

Static If we moved millimeters we’d touch, strangers on planes forced in proximities reserved for intimacy. I keep my arms crossed, compacted in self-inflicted binding, hands to myself like they taught us in preschool. I shift a little, stimulating blood flow to my tingling feet, but in the move our skins meet, that man’s and mine. I perceive of his flinch, the jerk away masked in the stealth of reaching for his drink, his repulsion of contact, one second that makes me question why I fear physicality.

Happy Friday!

Posted in art, poetry, writing

Overlooked

Posted on by SHE'S IN PRISON

Overlooked I wore a pearl necklace to feel pretty. I wanted the attention, for the guy making my latte to look twice, for my coworker to shoot me a jealous glare, for a young girl to see me with envy gleaming in her eyes and think someday I want to be her. I wanted to taste affection’s dessert, the outpouring of desire in salivating mouths, to be the chocolate mousse that causes moans, irresistible. But all they saw was the necklace. I like your necklace. What a gorgeous necklace. They saw the chocolate shavings decorating the mousse, snacked on the garnish like kids sneaking a finger full of icing from the cake. They saw pearls on a mannequin and finished their window shopping with a cookie from the food court.

Posted in art, poetry, writing

Something Else

Posted on by SHE'S IN PRISON

Something Else The cheese in my guacamole. The distraction of a fragment, if only for a second, a moment of heaven— a Something Else. I covet that nonsensical anything else that washes the brain, that gifts reprieve from thinking about you. I didn’t want cheese in my guacamole. They should have indicated it on the menu.

It’s the little things.

Posted in art, poetry, writing

Extract

Posted on by SHE'S IN PRISON

Extract I throw my lunch away, too disgusted to chew. The sickness hollows deep, painful, as if hairline fractures snake through the ribs, a searing that travels the blood and hibernates in the stomach. It’s crippling, this emotion manifesting in physical illness. I swallow, unsure if the few bites choked down will stay, insides ravaged by love so raw that it’s extract could be harvested and bottled, baked into poisonous desserts and gluttonized by the daring.

Posted in art, poetry, writing

My People

Posted on by SHE'S IN PRISON

My people There’s a part of me in every one of them, split projections reflecting back so that if they stood in a circle a hologram of me would appear in the center. Each one carries a different trait, an elemental slice of who I am— the way she cowers behind her hands, diverting and accentuating the social awkwardness of interacting in public places; the way he relinquishes his soul to music, making sense of emotion through lyrics, expressing a mood in a song choice; the way she overthinks; the tempo that he sings; how she doubts whether she wore the right earrings; that he laughs at inappropriate pauses in conversation; her resilience evidenced in getting out of bed and trying again. They’re my people, friends so familiar we share tears, so close I see their faces in my mirror— without them I’d disappear.

I think it’s important to notate that the rhyme in the last  lines is completely unintentional! The last step in my writing process always involves reading the poem out loud (which probably gives people the impression I’m talking to myself, especially if I’m in a coffee shop or something). Anyway, I didn’t notice the rhyme until that moment and in utter honesty, I liked the individual lines too much to change it. Deal with it.

Happy Tuesday!

Posted in art, poetry, writing

That Thing Called Trust

Posted on by SHE'S IN PRISON

That Thing Called Trust I opened my heart to it, relinquishing power into your volition, touching my palm to yours and memorizing the comfort of unrestrained connection, allowing the circle around my fear to bend for you. I liked the way it felt, to grant you access to my sealed chest, leaving the door a little ajar, the nightlight always shining just in case you wanted to come in, even in the dark hours, in my dreams, the recesses of my head. I found faith there, faith that I was safe, that as long as I trusted without doubt this taken chance couldn’t hurt. I never expected you’d force me to flicker the light, that you’d be the one to swallow my love like whiskey, with a wince.

It’s a new week and I’m pumped to be back. I’m ready to write and so blessed to have you all here to listen. Thank you for standing by my side on this poetic journey.

Posted in art, poetry, writing

Glimpse

Posted on by SHE'S IN PRISON

Glimpse Sometimes I forget that the sounds are audible because I can’t hear myself. The music’s too loud in my earbuds. I wonder if the headlights coming towards me reflect the glass coating my eyes, even though it’s dark. Would that man walking on the other side of the street notice If I collapsed? My hands shake with the violence of my breath, unable to find pause in the measure of worth. Can you hear me choking on silence, coughing with the helplessness of an asthmatic? Do you care?

This weekend was rough. As such, I’ve decided to take a little She’s in Prison vacation, just for a week. Isn’t there a saying of some kind about having too much of a good thing anyway…?

Have a great week and check back in 7 days for fresh schtuff. 🙂

Posted in art, Music, poetry, writing

Exiled

Posted on by SHE'S IN PRISON

Exiled He walked next to me, a foot between our bodies, a distance that only grew to divert obstacles in the middle of the sidewalk— trees, trash cans, mail receptacles. He’d point out a café he liked over there and I’d say I’d never been, a suggestion. We chatted about work and food addictions, ebbing in and out of the serious stuff, family and insecurities, teetering the line of divulging too much, choosing to trust in the other, mostly. And then he hugged me and he left, the sight of his back stabbing me, exiling me into invisibility, just a glare from the setting sun, dissolved into nighttime.

This one’s inspired by “Invisible” by Hunter Hayes.