Category: introspection

Posted in desire, dream, fear, heart, hope, introspection, invisibility, journal entry, life, loneliness, love, poetry, story, struggle, writing

Birthday Brunch

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Birthday Brunch

Regardless of my social ineptitude and longing for human connection, it was a delicious (and vegan) brunch at one of my favorite places. I woke up a little sad yesterday and that sadness followed me all morning and into the afternoon. Sometimes eating a roasted apple crepe with peanut butter and drinking a sunburnt white Russian on a sunshiny day does not negate whatever emotion nags in your heart. The sadness waned though in the afternoon, thanks to a massage, some quiet time with a book at a coffee shop, and a dinner out with my parents and brother. A bipolar birthday for sure.

Posted in confidence, dreams, fear, inspiration, introspection, invisibility, life, loneliness, Music, poetry, story, struggle, writing

Song

Posted on by SHE'S IN PRISON

SongSometimes on a Friday night, even when you’re tired and worn, and even when it’s late and no one else in your house is awake, you still find inspiration. You’re not sure from where, because your brain is dead and your back is sore and you’re slightly sad for no reason and way too sober. You find a poem in the nothing and that’s pretty cool.

One of these days I’m going to assemble all of the commentary I’ve written on here. I bet I’ll find many poems hidden there too amidst the blocks of unrefined text.

By the way, apparently my last post was my 500th poem. I got a notification on my phone shortly after I published it. Cheers to 501 poems on She’s in Prison. Thanks for sticking around for the journey.

Goodnight.

—Leanne Rebecca

Posted in introspection, poetry, writing

One Morning

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One Morning I found the real poem in the silence, the moment between songs that sits in the lungs like held breath. I could write about the shape of the clouds, the gray cascading over the awakened sun as I drove to work that morning. Could write about the internal reaction to the scene, the music speaking to me, me singing, the release at the final beat. But I don’t need to write it; analyze the living of it with overwrought introspection, forcing words to rehash something no one else witnessed. Instead, I move on. —Leanne Rebecca

Posted in art, introspection, poetry

Brainstorm

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Brainstorm I could write about how the clouds changed green and gray building rage tension charging in the air the tornado siren the single drop of rain that punched my shoulder how my pace quickened to get back home could write about the graffiti on the sidewalk spray paint mocking craftsmanship the littering of rebellion could write about the guy in the parking lot that chucked a beer bottle out of his jeep window how he didn’t know I’d seen that I didn’t pick up the trash once he’d driven off could write about the memory on replay: the first time I saw him the burn of a heart pre-breaking how I knew he’d be a problem before knowing his name that he wouldn’t care either way could write about how the sky waited to shed its tears until I got back inside back to the dark room and the leftover balloons from last night the sadness aching in their silence could write about anxiety how I felt alien to my body today atrophied by a need to escape nowhere to go not sure who to go with or why breathing seemed daunting in that moment. —Leanne Rebecca

I didn’t know what to write about so I wrote about it all.

Posted in introspection, poetry, struggle

Ghost

Posted on by SHE'S IN PRISON

Ghost There I was, the girl sitting alone at a table in Whole Foods, licking chocolate off my fingers, heart in my head, guitar in my ears, stars lost in cynical fear, convinced no one could see my existence under the florescent hue. So I licked away, sucking on every knuckle until I’d captured all the chocolate, hands cleansed of the transgression, no trace that it ever happened, no evidence that I’d been there at all. Tomorrow is my dead sister’s birthday, but you’d never know that.

Tonight is one of those nights that I could rant forever about what’s on my mind. Often though, I feel like I’ve already exhausted writing about my struggles. There are only so many times you can fill page after page with emotional drama, self-doubt, existential questioning, etc. There comes a point where you have to acknowledge it but figure out a way to channel everything you’d scribble in terribly written prose into something productive. I don’t want to dwell on struggle. I want to live today and love today. Everything is fleeting.

Happy birthday dear Becky.

–Leanne Rebecca